Gardening Fails: 80 Hilarious Attempts at Growing Food that Went Comically Wrong

Have you ever watched those lush, verdant gardening shows on television, looked out at your tiny windowsill herb garden, and thought, “I could do that!”? And with a hopeful heart, you roll up your sleeves and delve into the adventurous world of home gardening, hoping to grow your own food. But, as we all know, sometimes things just don’t go as planned!

Let’s face it; we’ve all been there. We’ve envisioned harvesting buckets full of tomatoes, peas, and strawberries, only to end up with a few hilariously underdeveloped fruits and veggies instead. The fantasies of farm-to-table meals vanish, and we’re left holding the world’s smallest carrot, so tiny that even Bugs Bunny would pass.

But here’s the thing – we’re not alone. And this world of mismatched expectations and realities is not only enlightening but downright funny. Many brave souls have embarked on this green journey before us, and thankfully, they’ve documented their hilariously disappointing results for our entertainment and mutual commiseration.

It turns out, there’s a certain charm in sharing our not-so-perfect results. It’s about being part of a community that understands the struggle and can laugh about it. It’s about acknowledging that even though our green thumbs might be a bit browner, we’re learning, growing, and sometimes, providing a good chuckle along the way.

So, put your gardening gloves on, click through our list of garden failures, and remember – every gardening failure is just a step closer to that gardening win. And until then, let’s just keep laughing together!

Remember, folks, in the garden of life, even the most underdeveloped fruit can bring the sweetest of laughs.

#4 The asparagus saga continues. It is 5″ taller today.

#5 Behold my bounty! It will feed villages throughout the winter months!

#7 This Thai chili shall flavor my dishes for the next eon.

#11 This season, I learned that the biggest secret to yuge-sized broad (aka fava) beans is… *gasp* Leave the damn plant alone to grow to full size.

#13 Oh, the great potato harvest of 2023. They shall write epic tales long into the future of the horticultural triumph. God as my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!

#19 Just think of all the lemon pies I’m gonna make with this.

#21 I cannot wait to pluck this perfect snap pea and indulge.

#22 Okay, I’m not going to lie. I like boasting. My lettuce harvest:

#24 The whole neighborhood will be feasting for weeks! I grew… pea.

#29 The only radish I’ve ever been able to actually grow.

#32 First crack at growing garlic was a rousing success.

#33 From less than a 0.5g to 31g, my family will feast for a decade.

#34 This mighty asparagus will make sure to pass on its superior genes.

#38 I’m ready to throw a party with all the salsa this will make.

#39 Looks like I’ll be getting a currant this year.

#51 Behold! The mightiest butternut squash known to man!

#52 Squirrels decided to rip up my plants, so I guess this is my potato harvest.

#53 I shall make a pie, that is envied by all, with this one strawberry.

#55 Vetch peas in garlic butter—my first harvest of spring.

#56 I planted this a year ago and now it has flowers. I’m starting to think these aren’t really Brussels sprouts.

#59 The hard part is deciding if I should make pie or sauce?

#64 Sautéed, mushroom soup, fungi rigatoni—tonight we feast!

#66 First tomato harvest of the season: Caprese for everyone!

#67 Harvested my first blackberry ever! It was too tart after having turned black for only two days. How long should I wait to pick the next ones once the red fades?

#70 My god, we will have enough ketchup for the whole sub!

#71 Behold my almost mighty zucchini! This beast fed most of the possums in the area and many, many snails. If I had a pan big enough, I could make an enormous ratatouille for all the neighborhood to feast on. Happy days.

#72 My pineberry plant is feeling generous after 3 years.

#74 I shall carve the skinniest daikon rose of all time.

#77 Moved from a village to the capital and I couldn’t help myself… So I planted some potatoes in my window box. Here’s my “harvest”! 😀

Written by Scarlet Flynn

I am a photographer, retoucher, writer and mother of a beautiful daughter. I also colourize old photographs to bring them to life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *